Fans and critics were a little miffed when Ridley Scott released Prometheus, as it felt very detached from the Alien franchise, so much so that it’s the only film in the franchise to not have “Alien” in the title. To help bring things back on track, the follow-up to that movie would not be Prometheus II, but instead Alien: Covenant, which would feel more in line with the traditional Alien experience, complete with tons more gore and Xenomorphs compared to Prometheus. But more isn’t per se better, and Covenant suffers not because it’s just more Alien, but because its characters are so incredibly uninteresting and dumb.

Alien: Covenant takes place some eleven years after the events of Prometheus. A colony ship named Covenant is en-route to a new planet but a solar storm wakes the crew up seven years prematurely. But there just so happens to be a habitable planet mere weeks away, which in space terms, is right next door, and that is emitting a very human distress signal courtesy of John Denver’s Take Me Home. Baffled that they missed this planet on their preliminary scans, the crew elected to alter their course to this new planet and rescue the survivors and potentially, set up their colony early. Of course, it doesn’t take long for things to run afoul once on the ground.

Those looking for all the horror, blood, and guts won’t be disappointed with Alien: Covenant, as it feels much more in line with what the franchise is known for relative to its predecessor. But unlike Prometheus, which opted to tell a very unexpected story, Covenant doesn’t really have any surprises up its sleeve, nor does it push any boundaries. For instance, if you’ve seen the end of Aliens, you know how this movie ends. Did you want chest bursters and face huggers? Well, you got ’em. It feels very paint-by-numbers in some instances.

I think the biggest issue Covenant has is that the characters are simply boring and uninteresting. I can’t really tell you anyone’s names or much about them, aside from the Danny McBride character (nicknamed Tennesse) likes country music. This issue becomes more problematic because seemingly everyone in the movie is incredibly dumb, making illogical decisions as they navigate the alien planet. It almost seems like the movie was forcing the horror upon the audience by having the characters make stupid decisions throughout, just so we can get to the “good stuff”. Characters do insanely dumb things, like poke at spore pods without helmets or masks, or stick their faces in facehugger pods on the word of a robot who is clearly furious at the character in question for killing the Xenomorph that was bonding with it. The movie also has a weird obsession where the characters refer to their spouses by their titles, rather than their names, so you’ll hear them say things like “my wife this, my wife that” a lot in the movie. It doesn’t feel natural based on the number of times this happens.

The highlight of the film, once again, is Michael Fassbender, this time in dual roles as both the robots David and Walter. Both androids are programmed with very different behaviour models, allowing Fassbender to really flex his range, down to having two different accents throughout the film. It’s here that the film taps into the more philosophical elements found in Prometheus, but doesn’t get as deep or interesting as that film did. In the end, it’s more dialogue on the concept of creation, but it isn’t as poignant or interesting as it was in Prometheus.

While the film isn’t per se “scary”, it is a lot more intense and visceral relative to Prometheus and even the first two Alien films. The aliens, including the brand new albino Neomorphs, are relentless and violent in Covenant, gorging on their human prey with ease. So we do end up getting a lot of action with the Xenos and thanks to the power of VFX, we get to see them move in far more naturally and smoother than we ever have before. A running Xenomorph is intense. That said, the VFX doesn’t look quite right on the aliens, especially with regards to the liquid dripping off their bodies, as it creates an uncanny valley effect that feels at odds with a franchise that’s made such iconic practical Aliens in the past. But overall, the film does look great, with impressive sets and making the best of a dreary New Zealand to double as its new alien planet for the colonists to explore and suffer on.

Covenant ends up feeling like a film that’s trying to tie into the events of that film and making those fans happy, while also making a film for those who had issues with Prometheus for not feeling like an Alien movie. The result is that Covenant doesn’t really have any sort of identity and feels very muddled as a result. That being said, it’s not a bad movie. It’s certainly entertaining and well shot and it’s actually a shame we won’t get a conclusion to David’s storyline, at least not anytime soon. But if I had to pick watching Prometheus or Covenant again, I’d pick the former.